I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize