I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
