Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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