did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
