Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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