i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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