He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
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It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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