Im at strip club and am horny
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
