were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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