so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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