you guys were way drunker than both of me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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