Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
