everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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