He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
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We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize