u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
