Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
