never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You ruined the universe
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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