Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
