i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
PANTIES FOUND
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