I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
