Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
