WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize