I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
