I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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