My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
