i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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