i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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