Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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