I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
