Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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