hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
