Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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