her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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