I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize