Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ttyl tear gas
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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