Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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