i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
