Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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