I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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