I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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