My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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