Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
