he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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