Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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