FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
