the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
