i think i have herpe
just one?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
