she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize