Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
