I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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