Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
