I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
