Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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