You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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