would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
