id be glad to
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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