If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
