Me too!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
