I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.