haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.