THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
