how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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