is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
