I accidentally burped into my bong.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
