He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
