walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
