i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
